in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Randomize
