I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
