awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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