I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
