yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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