4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He did a backflip because drugs
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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