What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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