How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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