Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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