..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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