If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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