her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i now understand why vodka
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
