ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize