New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
