from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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