Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Randomize
