I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
