fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The power of my boobs compel you
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
