I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you didnt know i had herpes?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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