wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
