They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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