my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
