someone get that fucking seahorse.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
