I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
