so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
