So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Mom said you looked used
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
