phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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