i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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