ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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