help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
