you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
