Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
