How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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