you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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