She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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