barbara walters just said penis...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
