I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
