She just used a chaser for red wine.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
