I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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