Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just had sex bonerless
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
