he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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