I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
