a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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