friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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