you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
