when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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