Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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