Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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