It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
