I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize