i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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