even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
