omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
