Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
