They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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