You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
