you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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