I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
