I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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