Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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