You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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