So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
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like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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