none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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