rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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