apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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